Post by Butter Bull on Nov 22, 2010 0:30:07 GMT -6
The Butter Bull had arrived in Fort Newport to cheers and adulation. The lord and master of the Dominion himself was to lead a special task force of Armored Goats into the supposedly impregnable Great Hazel Woods. The troops were assembled in Piyazzya dellya Vasroisitya, one of the only reminders of the razed city of Vasroisitya, the only city not preserved from ancient Lavalon. It was a fitting reminder that those who opposed the Natopian state would be dealt with accordingly. After days of waiting, the Butter Bull appeared under a makeshift triumphal arch adorned with figures of Justice, Providence, Piety and Peace. Thus spoke the Butter Bull:
Oh ye fools! Listen to my words, for they may be the last ye hear! I do not mean you will die, for you will not, the Hazel have an oath of peace they must obey.
You, like half of Cape Newport, will be sent to a spiritual dimension from which there is no way back. The spirits of your and everyone's ancestors reside in that dimension. But remember... it is not heaven, for you will not be dead! Also, I'm not sure if there is a heaven in Bovinism....
But also, you will not fear, for my Butter Form is inherently repellent to the Hazel's spiritual magic, due to my own Divinity. The two spiritual powers are not compatible, therefore, like magnets of the same polarity, my blessing will keep you in this realm.
*heads turned from side to side as the Armored Goats, indoctrinated to accept the word of Truth from the Butter Bull, looked puzzled at the contradictions*
FOOLS! Just go with it, I'm a goddamn god, remember?
And with that, a portion of His Divine Form separated and divided and multiplied and went out to the people in the square, and covered them in glistening delicious butter.
It was truly a miracle. And there was much rejoicing.
The Butter Bull then spoke again "ON THE BOAT! NOW"
And with that, the Armored Goats and the Butter Bull, boarded the Timoreomai, and set off for Oakham.
Oh ye fools! Listen to my words, for they may be the last ye hear! I do not mean you will die, for you will not, the Hazel have an oath of peace they must obey.
You, like half of Cape Newport, will be sent to a spiritual dimension from which there is no way back. The spirits of your and everyone's ancestors reside in that dimension. But remember... it is not heaven, for you will not be dead! Also, I'm not sure if there is a heaven in Bovinism....
But also, you will not fear, for my Butter Form is inherently repellent to the Hazel's spiritual magic, due to my own Divinity. The two spiritual powers are not compatible, therefore, like magnets of the same polarity, my blessing will keep you in this realm.
*heads turned from side to side as the Armored Goats, indoctrinated to accept the word of Truth from the Butter Bull, looked puzzled at the contradictions*
FOOLS! Just go with it, I'm a goddamn god, remember?
And with that, a portion of His Divine Form separated and divided and multiplied and went out to the people in the square, and covered them in glistening delicious butter.
It was truly a miracle. And there was much rejoicing.
The Butter Bull then spoke again "ON THE BOAT! NOW"
And with that, the Armored Goats and the Butter Bull, boarded the Timoreomai, and set off for Oakham.